My dear friend who was in a deep depression said to me one day that I should stop trying to make her happy and just be myself. My first instinct was “Well I enjoy making you happy and that IS who I am so, who am I if I can’t make you happy?” What kind of a friend lets someone they care about wallow in sadness without trying to help them feel better? I was miserable and allowed myself to get depressed right along side of my friend.
I gave this conversation a great deal of thought and finally realized that even though I truly do enjoy helping others and seeing them happy, I did have a responsibility to make sure that I get to be happy too. We had a few hard days where we just couldn’t see each other’s perspective but when I finally decided to just let her be unhappy if she wanted to, and assure her I was there for her when she wanted to FEEL better, why everything changed. Most of the time what people want is to be heard and understood. Let them know you understand but that you can’t join them in the sorrow.
- If someone chooses to be unhappy and we can’t get them to come into our happy state (vibration) then we can learn to accept it and let them know that when they are ready to feel better, we will be there for them.
Each person in your life is there for a reason, and that reason always has something to do with love.-Tut
- When we finally decide to show kindness and true empathy, that kindness inspires kindness in return.
Another dear friend of mine said to me one day after she had an argument with a co-worker “I decided I would rather be happy than to be right.” from that day on her so-called conflicts at work seemed silly and much less stressful. Her life changed for the better at work and at home. Contrast is a natural part of all relationships. Focusing on creating a balanced compromise rather than winning or losing an argument can draw you and your friends/co-workers closer together and allow deeper relationships to flourish in all areas of your life.
- Feelings of irritation and frustration grow when we remain silent so make your feelings clear but do so with empathy, a real honest look at their perspective.
The relationships you nurture with others will mirror the relationship you have with yourself. Learn to take responsibility for your own happiness and treat yourself with kindness and compassion.
Sending this with LOADS of ~kindnness and Love~